Dispelling Six Myths About Feedback
“It all comes back to feedback.”
That phrase has followed me for years, so much so that my old team once gave me a going-away gift with those words engraved at the top of the plaque. They weren’t wrong!
Feedback is at the center of both personal growth and team performance. Want to improve your own awareness and development? You need feedback. Want to strengthen your team’s collaboration, trust, and results? Feedback is essential to the solution.
And yet, feedback remains one of the hardest things we do as leaders. It’s part science, part art, and it takes practice. We need humility to receive it, grace to deliver it, and a growth mindset to use it.
Too often, though, leaders fall for some false assumptions—myths that limit feedback’s power. So, let’s look at six common myths about feedback and how we can move past them.
Myth #1 – I’m Entitled to Feedback
Early in my career, I waited for feedback like a baby bird waiting to be fed. I assumed I was owed it. I grew frustrated when I maybe received a bit of quality feedback once a year.
The truth? No one owes us feedback, not even our boss. We cannot remain quietly expectant of it. Feedback is a gift. We must seek it out, create space for it, and show gratitude when it comes. Leaders can’t sit passively waiting. We model a culture of growth when we consistently invite and act on feedback ourselves. That’s how we normalize it for our teams.
Myth #2 – I Should Only Receive Feedback from Certain People
Tasha Eurich, in Insight, describes our “loving critics” as those people who care about us, whom we respect, and who are willing to give honest feedback. These voices are invaluable.
But they shouldn’t be the only ones we listen to. Every person around us has a perspective worth hearing, regardless of role or rank. Leaders should welcome feedback from anyone, then reflect on it and decide what to do with it. The act of receiving feedback openly—even if we don’t act on it—signals to our team that sharing insights is safe and valuable.
Myth #3 – Feedback Must Be Packaged Perfectly to Work
When giving feedback, leaders should always aim for clarity, empathy, and respect. But when receiving feedback, we shouldn’t expect the same polish.
If we only accept feedback when it’s perfectly worded, we’ll miss valuable insights. Even clumsy or blunt comments may carry truth. Our responsibility is to focus less on how it’s delivered and more on what is being said, maintaining an attitude of humility and gratitude that someone cared enough to say anything at all.
Myth #4 – Only Constructive Feedback Matters
I used to brush off positive comments, eager for the “real” feedback I could use to improve. Many professionals do the same, assuming corrective feedback is the only thing that drives growth.
But positive feedback matters tremendously. It reinforces what’s working, builds confidence, and sustains people through hard challenges. Novices especially need encouragement to keep moving forward. And even seasoned experts benefit from knowing their contributions add value.
A team without positive feedback feels cold and thankless. A leader who shares it regularly builds a culture where people feel seen and appreciated.
Myth #5 – Feedback Has to Be Tough to Be Effective
Some leaders believe feedback must be harsh to make an impact. In reality, “brutal honesty” often backfires. When feedback feels cold or uncaring, people focus more on the messenger than the message, causing them to become defensive and resist the words you’re saying to them.
But feedback given with genuine care, compassion, and curiosity lands differently. It communicates: “I value you, I value this team, and I want us to get better.” Feedback is truth given in love. It can be firm, but also supportive. That’s the kind of feedback people want to receive and the kind leaders should deliver.
Myth #6 – My Job Ends When I Give Feedback
Leaders sometimes think their responsibility ends once they’ve told someone what to fix. But simply pointing out a shortfall makes you a critic, not a coach. It’s one thing to simply point out a problem; it’s an entirely different experience to partner with them afterward.
True leadership means helping people move from “What?” to “So what?” to “Now what?” Don’t just highlight the issue; explain why it matters and walk with them as they figure out what to do next. When leaders commit to being allies, feedback becomes a springboard for real growth.
The Bottom Line
Feedback is hard—hard to ask for, hard to give, and hard to apply. But it’s also essential. The myths we’ve dispelled can help you and your team experience feedback’s full potential. Recognizing and rejecting these myths is the first step to making feedback a normal and powerful part of your leadership.
Call to Action
Feedback doesn’t improve teams by accident—it improves them because leaders practice it intentionally and with courage. This week, try three simple steps:
- Seek it: Ask one teammate, “What’s one thing I could do better next week to support you or the team?”
- Give it: Share a piece of positive feedback you’ve been holding back. Be specific.
- Model it: When someone offers you feedback, welcome it. Thank them. Then reflect before responding.
Leaders who normalize feedback create teams that grow, adapt, and thrive. Start today and see yourself how it all comes back to feedback.
